


bumblebee

by shizuoh



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Flirting, First Meetings, M/M, Swearing, background matsuhana - Freeform, rip yahaba, what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 17:05:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7181573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shizuoh/pseuds/shizuoh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yahaba tightened his grip on his cup. "He has to die."</p><p>Watari blinked. "What."</p><p>"I don't know how to flirt with him so he has to die."</p><p>
  <em>(“We’re sitting in a food court and I can see you staring at me so what’s your fucking deal- wait are you drawing me?” au)</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	bumblebee

**Author's Note:**

> au idea taken from [here](http://narcissisticfelix.tumblr.com/post/145217584794/a-list-of-random-dumb-aus)
> 
> this is so dumb nobody is even in character i hate haikyuu

"Oh, what an _asshole_ ," Yahaba seethed.

Watari raised an eyebrow, lifting his pizza to take a bite. "Are you degrading your pizza?" he asked.

"It's the kind where there's pepperoni _infused_ into the cheese." Yahaba picked up the hot cheese from the pizza slice with his thumb and forefinger, narrowing his eyes at the sight that met him. 

"Why didn't you just get cheese?"

"They didn't _have_ any!" Yahaba gasped, throwing his hands in the air. He leaned back in his chair with a huff, glancing around at the crowded food court. "Where did Matsukawa and Hanamaki go?"

Watari glanced up, peering all around, though obviously disinterested. He gave a lazy shrug. "Probably making out in the back of Forever 21 again."

Yahaba huffed, and peeled away his unwanted pepperoni slices, throwing them onto Watari's plate. The latter took them greedily as they came.

"Dude, what is _with_ you and pepperoni? What did it ever do to you?" Watari laughed, taking note of Yahaba's irked expression.

"They _existed_ ," Yahaba mumbled.

"Who hurt you," Watari deadpanned.

Yahaba opened his mouth to give a snarky reply, but then cut himself off, his mouth hanging open as he gazed past Watari's shoulder towards another table behind him. A boy—about the same age as he—sat alone, his eyes fixed determinedly on him. He was holding a pencil in one hand, twirling it between two fingers. Yahaba eyed him up and down, his eyebrows raising practically above his hairline.

"Don't look now, but there's a guy behind you staring at me."

Watari immediately whirled around, nearly falling off the chair whilst doing so. Yahaba slapped his forehead in exasperation, his ears heating up in embarrassment. When he peeked past his hand, the guy was _still_ staring, occasionally glancing down at his notebook.

"Yeah, he's definitely staring at you," Watari agreed, a smug smirk on his face.

Yahaba rolled his eyes. "Thanks," he said dryly. 

"Maybe he likes you," Watari suggested, reaching over to steal Yahaba's drink.

"I doubt it. He looks _way_ too mean, and— _hey!_ Didn't you buy your _own?_ " Yahaba jumped forward to grab his back, and Watari gave a wide-eyed shrug.

"He probably does," Watari said once he handed Yahaba back his drink. "I mean, who wouldn't?"

"That's pretty gay."

"... _You're_ gay."

"I mean—you're _right_ , but..." Yahaba let his voice trail off, and then snorted.

Watari wiggled his eyebrows, leaning back in his seat and using the spare one next to him as a footrest. "Are you saying you don't like him?"

Yahaba held up one finger to take a moment to swallow his carbonated beverage, and then waved his hand in a circular motion. " _Well_ ," he started, "other than the fact that his hair looks like he got shit on by a bumblebee, he's cute, I _guess_."

"You guess," Watari repeated.

"Yes!" Yahaba exclaimed. "He kind of looks like he's trying to kill me using solely his eyes," he suggested. As he leaned down to take another drink, Watari glanced back over his shoulder to look at said guy.

Yahaba did the same, trying to be discreet as he looked over Watari's shoulder, even nudging him away with his hand in the process so he could get a better look. The Guy glanced down quickly, moved his pencil across the paper, and looked up before moving it again.

"...Is he drawing something?" Yahaba murmured, and then when The Guy's gaze on him got firmer, he felt his face heat up. "Is he... drawing _me?_ "

"What a turn out."

"What the _fuck._ "

"How romantic."

"WHAT THE FUCK."

"Truly, a romantic comedy for the ages."

"Shut up!" Yahaba hissed, slapping at Watari's face. The latter laughed at the action, grabbing Yahaba's wrist and pinning it to the table. The Guy was still watching.

"This is incredible," Watari said, on the verge of tears from laughing. "You should go talk to him."

"No! That's a _terrible_ idea!"

"Okay, Plan B— _I_ talk to him."

"That's even worse," Yahaba whispered in horror.

There was a silence between them as Yahaba continued to casually stare at The Guy. He didn't seem to notice Yahaba staring at him, and only kept sketching across his notebook. His eyes were sharp as they glanced from face to page—and if the dark circles (eyeliner? both?) under his eyes meant anything, then he seemed to draw quite often. Yahaba was almost ready to actually get up and say hello until Watari decided to be a fucking dumbass.

"He kind of looks like a dog," Watari said.

Yahaba's eyes went wide in panic. "Oh my God do you think he could be a furry?"

Watari stared at him like he was stupid. "Wha—where did you even get _that_ from?"

"You can never be too careful."

"Didn't you _date_ a furry once?"

"We don't talk about that."

Watari rolled his eyes. "Just go flirt with him. Lay down your moves, or whatever it is you do."

Yahaba chewed on his straw for a few moments, his mind reeling with possible pick-up lines—laying them down into lists on probability of most to least effective, maybe even a few dog-themed ones he could lay down. Then, his breath hitched in his throat, and he realized.

Yahaba tightened his grip on his cup. "He has to die."

Watari blinked. "What."

"I don't know how to flirt with him so he has to die."

Watari let out a long, drawn-out sigh, and then tugged on Yahaba's hair. "Go kill him with love," he reasoned, and forced Yahaba to stand, shoving him in the direction of The Guy. 

Yahaba wiggled out of Watari's grip, but it was too late, and The Guy was staring right up at him with wide, confused eyes. Yahaba felt his ears heat up, and he turned a little to give Watari his best death glare, the latter only waving happily at him.

He took a deep breath, and looked down at The Guy.

"What's your fucking problem?"

_Oh my God it wasn't supposed to come out that way._

Mess. He was a gigantic goddamn mess. Yahaba resisted the urge to punch himself in the face and instead willed himself to stare The Guy down. "I— _sorry_ , I didn't mean, um—why were you staring at me?" he stammered, like he was some lame teenager. His face must've been 50 shades of red.

The Guy's cheeks were pink, and he quickly moved to cover the page of his journal with his hands. "Um," he muttered, his voice gruff, "no reason—um, what's _your_ fucking problem?"

Yahaba narrowed his eyes. "You were staring at me first."

"You came up to me."

Yahaba straightened his back, his hands on his hips as he gave off what Hanamaki and Matsukawa called the _Mom_ look. "Because you were practically _glaring_ at me!"

"I-I wasn't _glaring_ —" The Guy tried, but Yahaba snapped his fingers quickly.

"Who do you think you are?" Yahaba huffed, getting annoyed (at both the bumblebee hair and The Guy's attitude).

"...Kyoutani Kentarou," he murmured. "A-and I wasn't... glaring. I was..."

"What?" Yahaba pressed.

"...drawing you." His face was bright red.

Oh. _Oh_. Fuck. Fuck his life. "Oh..." Yahaba bit his lower lip, and once The Guy—Kyoutani or whatever the fuck—moved his hands, his jaw dropped.

The art was _magnificent_. From the distance he had been from him, the detail was _incredibly_ impressive. He was turned to the side, mouth open like he was chatting animatedly with someone, and even the dimples in his cheeks and pierced eyebrows were sketched with utmost care. His hair was swept and the entire drawing was just absolutely _real_.

"Oh my God," Yahaba breathed, picking up the journal and staring at it. He wanted to cradle it to his chest. "Whoa. Holy _shit_. This is incredible! _You're_ incredible!" he gasped, laughing and giving Kyoutani a big grin.

Kyoutani swallowed visibly, leaning back as his face grew even redder. Yahaba continued to rant about the detail and the difference between light and dark with the pencil marks, waving his hands and laughing so hard he was breathless.

Suddenly, an arm was swung around his shoulders. Matsukawa grinned down at him. "Ah, young love."

Yahaba smiled calmly, though his eyes were dark. "Touch me again and I'll break your wrist."

"Love you too, son."

Yahaba shrugged him off, and slammed his hands on the table in front of Kyoutani. "Hey. I'll be your subject if you wanna draw me more."

"Oh my," Hanamaki crooned.

"Um... okay," Kyoutani agreed, looking awkwardly between Matsukawa and Hanamaki. 

Yahaba grabbed a napkin and hurriedly wrote down his phone number on it, and slid it over towards his new artist. "Here!" he exclaimed, a little too loudly, and bid a rushed goodbye as he walked back over towards his table.

Watari was giving him a smug smirk once he made it back.

"What kind of flirting was _that?_ " Matsukawa snorted.

"Says the guy who danced around his feelings for his best friend for three years and didn't have the courage to ask him out until two months ago," Yahaba said smoothly, throwing his legs over Matsukawa's lap as he gave him a look, taking a small sip of his drink.

Hanamaki burst into laughter. Matsukawa's grin dropped.

Watari winced, and then nodded slowly. He stood, pushing himself up from the table. "I'll go get some ice for that burn."

 

**Author's Note:**

> i lov kyouhaba sm this is so self indulgent im so sorry holyu shit
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://saltyiwaizumi.tumblr.com/)


End file.
